Mom! Dad! Leave me alone

Mom! Dad! Leave me alone

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It starts already in the first weeks of the child's life, and often even earlier, already during pregnancy, before the beloved son or daughter is born. And it increases over time. Educating, stimulating development, motivating, encouraging, entertaining, supporting - all this is undoubtedly of great importance for the proper development of the youngest. However, in order to be able to thrive, every child also needs something completely opposite ... He needs "no parents". I need a daily moment - peace and quiet.
When I was pregnant, I read a lot about how to be a "perfect mother" ... I bought books, I searched the Internet, I asked my friends. Everything to create the best conditions for my son's development from the very beginning. After all, we can sing, play music and read to the youngest, yet unborn babies. We can talk to them, stroke the stomach, rock it to the rhythm of the dance. There are so many ways to communicate! This cannot be neglected. In the books we read, among others: children whose mothers listened to a lot of music during pregnancy, can after calming down to the sounds they know, frequent "conversations" of future parents with their offspring are conducive to the creation of an unusual bond between them.

A kiss on the stomach, a quiet whisper, a calm, warm voice of my mother and the other, more resonant, lower - dad. Being together begins then.

What after birth?

Maternity leave. With him, the next hours spent reading, asking mothers friends, studying the Internet - how to actively and wisely use these short moments when our little baby is not sleeping for several weeks? They write that he can already read. So we take the book in our hand, not necessarily the shortest and with the largest number of colorful illustrations, because it doesn't understand anything anyway. However, he listens to our voice. Enough for now. Then tap in the search engine: "toys for newborns". And what turns out? Are. And this is not enough. From black and white boards with geometric patterns, through calm, relaxing music boxes, to slowly spinning carousels, which we eagerly attach to the cot, just above the baby's head. Lying in a cot can not be boring! Besides, you can't just lie there. Waste time. Time that can be used, for example, to observe a colorful educational mat hung above us, or a ceiling painted in stars and moons.
And how does the carousel stop spinning? Maybe we'll sing?! ...

Maybe later. He fell asleep. Detriment…

After a few months, when the baby is not sleeping much of the day, we can spend more time with him more actively. There are plenty of play proposals. Old, well-known to us all, "mow, mow paws" or "Where the magpie brewed," and all kinds of children's toys, without which - according to advertising - no child will experience a happy childhood. Besides, you can play with everyone. We know - a pot, a wooden kitchen spoon or a bag of peas can sometimes be more interesting to children than the latest gadget. Added to this is our parental creative creativity in inventing games. You can't leave a child alone. It is up to us - their parents - how it develops. Will we provide him with sufficient stimuli for his senses? ...

But why is It so touchy today? Why doesn't he do "mow, mow"? Why is she crying ??

Small children cry for many reasons. They cry when hungry, sleepless, have a wet diaper, are sick or something hurts, but it can also be a signal that they just need a moment of peace. It is possible that they are irritable, nervous, just tired of our constant presence. They don't need a new toy, they don't want to sing them a different song because they don't like it or start reading another book because it is boring. They don't want to hug, hold on, rock or carousel above their heads. The child, like all of us, needs a moment of silence. You don't have to entertain him all the time. Some time ago a friend told me: "Sometimes I don't know how to play with my son anymore, I lack ideas, time, strength ... And then, as soon as I leave him and want to do something else, I think that I neglect him again ..." . Many parents face such dilemmas every day. However, I think that equally important in how much time we spend with our child is how we spend this time. Let's enjoy being together and let children experience and explore the world on their own. If we have remorse that we will leave them alone for a moment (I had ...), let's reject these thoughts. Do not think that something escapes us, that we are bad parents, because at this time you can do this or that. Let's listen to the needs of our own child. We can be sure that if he needs us he will let us know.

My son was just 9 months old. We still spend time together inventing thousands of games. We still read and listen to music a lot. However, during the day He also has time only for himself. When he sits in the crib and in only understandable language he "reads" the book, when he lies on his back and does nothing but stare at ... his hands, when in silence, without the sound of the radio or TV, without my constant talk (because you need a child talk as much as possible) - he looks at the strings of the shorts with fascination in his eyes. Then I look at him with the same fascination in my eyes. From the side, without interfering with his childhood world. I don't worry anymore that I spend too little time on it. I don't ask every now and then: What are you doing, honey? Sometimes I just stand by and give him ... peace of mind.