Time for mom

When you choose a child, you get fear for free

When you choose a child, you get fear for free



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Fear of a child is considered the greatest. It has a completely different dimension, difficult to compare with anything experienced so far. Lines any major or minor fears to date - fear for my own life (if I run out tomorrow, who will take care of him / her?), fear for your own health (what if I don't have enough strength to look after children), about work (how will we deal with a small child after losing his job), anxiety about relationship stability (child needs mum and dad) etc.

Almost all dilemmas experienced before the birth of the baby are considered to be trivial and less severe, in retrospect less important. Why?

When a baby is born, he is born sense of responsibility and the moment comes to mature into a new role. We are struck by the fact that the baby we hold in our arms is quite dependent on us, that his life and everyday happiness depend on the decisions he makes. This obliges. Stress appears not only inside - in ourselves. It also has sources elsewhere.

We hear voices and cautions from the left and right, as much as parents we can screw up, how many threats are there, how difficult it is to protect the baby from them. It's hard not to get lost in all this. It is impossible to free yourself from anxiety and its consequences, which can be very dangerous for a child.

What will you do with your fear?

Fear of a child is understandable. Everyone is afraid. There are enough reasons and it is impossible not to see them: starting from worries about the consequences of daily choices, overlooking important symptoms, the effects of ignorance, and ending with illness, accidents, violence and rejection of a child by a group of peers.

The problem is that mom or dad's fear rarely stays "with the owner." Very often it is transmitted to a child. It limits them and hinders their functioning, raises anxiety ... before the world.

What if ... Fear of a pregnant child

Terrifying and overwhelming fear can already accompany pregnant women. Two lines are not only a reason for joy, but for the pursuit of thoughts ... Legs become like cotton wool, and the brain starts counting out the title - what if ... What if the pregnancy does not persist, the child will be sick, will not be able to live independently, during delivery something goes wrong, will there be serious complications?

Do all these dark visions arise in the head of the future mother? Or maybe they have a source elsewhere?

Unfortunately, the external world does not silence fears about the course of pregnancy. It is just the opposite. He still reminds of them. Random people wish happiness, a smooth delivery, healthy children, and a lot of tests are done in the doctor's office to rule out possible irregularities. The vision that something goes wrong is constantly present, and the feeling of lack of control becomes overwhelming. Unfortunately, later, after the birth of a child, it is not better at all.

Anxiety for a baby and small child

When a child is born, it is not easier. Parents are worried about cot death, thinking about proper development, whether the toddler is growing enough. There is care for a downpour, colic, rashes, burns, cloves. With time, the day of separation comes, going to nursery, kindergarten, school, fear arises as to how the child will cope. The fears grow with the child and never actually end. Even when an adult is starting a family and getting angry, when "old mom or dad" is still worried ... Worrying is a part of the parent's role.

If we have already established that it is impossible not to worry that fear is inscribed in parenthood, it is time to write about the traps that await a worrying parent. And how to worry wisely :)

What is worth remembering when worrying?

  • try to remember every day why you became a mother. Losing precious moments of worrying that something will happen to the child, unfortunately he steals the joy of being a parent,
  • psychologists say to accept your fears, giving yourself time to worry every day - 10 minutes is enough, but be consistent and do not allow yourself to worry at other times,
  • remember that Your fears are rarely confirmed. Remember what you were worried about 10 years ago and how many fears have changed into reality. Be of good cheer.
  • worrying you don't show that you love someone. In this way you send a different signal - "calm me down, tell me that everything will be fine", ignore my fears, dispel doubts. If you want to show that your child is important to you, just tell him,
  • catch the right perspective going out without children, spending time with friends will allow you to distance yourself from your fears,
  • try to find time for exercise every day, which reduce tension and allow you to relax
  • don't ignore your fears, don't let them ridicule them, control them.

And you, how do you deal with the fear of children? Do you belong to very stressed parents or rather "chill out"?