Time for mom

10 secrets of happy families and happy childhood

10 secrets of happy families and happy childhood


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Leo Tolstoy in "Anna Karenina" wrote a significant sentence: "All happy families are similar, each unhappy family is unhappy in its own way." And with this accurate and simple observation he created a timeless thesis whose strength and current overtones can be observed all over the world.

How does it happen that there are families we look at with interest, who are more satisfied, less stressed, more confident. Being around such people is a pleasure. You stand and look with fascination, you see that children are calm, trusting, and parents, despite many responsibilities, are fully satisfied with their daily duties. Strength and confidence are beating them, mom and dad awake authority, but not dictated by strength, but by a sense of control over the situation.

What do happy families know, what do not understand people struggling with problems and frustrations that deprive them of the joy of everyday life? How is it that some of us are able to give a child a joyful, carefree childhood, while others have trouble with it and experience doubts at every step?

The most important is family. Seriously?

Regardless of the questioner, the answers to what is most important to us in life are similar. Over 90% indicate family and relationships with loved ones. It's quite paradoxical and surprising when we realize how day by day is going by.

Usually, in the everyday rush, the duties, obligations at home and at work win, and the family ... all research indicates that we have less and less time for her. Yes, it is not our fault, we are somehow forced, left against the wall, with no choice.

Our everyday life deviates from our expectations, wishes and dreams have little in common with what we face every day. It gives birth to us frustrations, fears and guilt. In addition to what can be said a lot, we often underestimate what we have. As the Old Men sang, "he is not happy when he is, but when he is not there, you are alone as a dog." Anyway, we also have a lot of proverbs expressing disappointment in the family, for example "the family goes best in the picture" or ... on the train.

What is it finally like? Why all the disappointments? So many strong, not necessarily good emotions?

How can you make your family happy?

Here are 10 secrets to happy families.

Cultivating tradition

Routine works in two ways. On the one hand, if it is not accompanied by moments of rest, relaxation, breaking the established rhythm, it tires, almost kills creativity in us, cools enthusiasm. However, on the other hand, routine is an indispensable element of life, it is impossible to escape from it for a long time, it allows us to keep a sense of security and peace, makes everyone know what to do, how to organize time and space.

There are many factors to a routine. One of them is cultivating tradition. Each family has its own, not necessarily general, customs typical of the whole society, but the traditions developed by a given family, ancestors, grandparents that connect several people more strongly than anything else.

The tradition can be a Sunday walk after dinner, evening talks about problems, a Friday trip together on a bike. There are many possibilities. Usually, the point is to spend time together and have a sense of closeness, the opportunity to share your problems or insights.

Cultivating traditions, however, should not be seen (and this is often the case) as a compulsion, something we do reluctantly. It is important to make the child realize the sense of joint actions and ... remain flexible. All this in order to respect the individuality and individuality of each family member, in consequence creating patterns of behavior that will suit everyone.

Nice gestures

Everyday life consists of small events, details that build our whole. They affect our sense of satisfaction or make us disappointed. In a world in which we live under pressure, we are constantly in a hurry, we feel stress related to the excess of duties, small nice gestures can relieve tension and give a sense of security.

In happy families there is no shortage of kisses, concern for well-being, taking care of what the toddler eats, what he puts on. The child experiences tender gestures from his parents and reciprocates them himself, because he is taught this from a young age. In happy families, children and parents look at each other, look into each other's eyes, turn off computers and telephones, and show with love again what is most important to them.

Mindfulness in the family

Children are mindful because of their nature. They notice a small worm on the tree, like to observe the awakening nature, focus on details. Over time, however, we lose this ability and it is increasingly difficult for us to enjoy small things. In a way, we "turn off" certain areas to survive, to deal with what is really important. This is why in many families parents are unaware of the problems children are facing. Theoretically, they are next door, but they can't see what is going on in their home. They often learn about certain things by accident and are very surprised.

In happy homes, all family members focus on being sensitive to the needs of the other person. They do everything to see and see, not just look. It's a difficult art that you have to learn all your life.

Common hobbies and family strength

Playing with a child is often seen as a duty. We spend time with our daughter or son, because we know it is necessary, we get involved, because we have a feeling of guilt. However, this does not have to be the case. Instead of playing games that we honestly hate, choose entertainment that is boring for us, it's better to look for something in which we can find ourselves, without the need to sacrifice and pretend.

With a little patience and opening your head to new opportunities, there is a good chance that you will find something that everyone enjoys.

Read - playing with a child bored me.