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How is the beginning?
It is usually similar: meetings for two, longing, hot thoughts, lust, passionate text messages and unexpected calls with nice words. Looking into the eyes, trying to make the other person see us as the one / only. You want to prepare a tasty dinner, light candles, spend time together, planning every detail: at least until the emotions make the rest go by itself.
Parenting lowers pressure. Makes emotional and financial security a priority. Partners start looking at reality differently, from best intentions to adapt your everyday life to the family life. Sometimes in their "sacrifice" or dedication to the family they go even further: they think that they can put aside their own needs, including forgetting about sexuality, until the children grow up. However ... it's a big mistake.
Intimate relationship, i.e. the child is watching ...
Parents often think that for their children they are to be only parents, that it is enough for them to fulfill their role as mom and dad better or worse. Unfortunately. It's not true. The child is an experienced observer. We will give him the greatest gift when we are in an intimate relationship.
Children don't have to know what happens in the bedroom (when they start to trample, it's time to mount the lock in the door), but they instinctively know if there is "chemistry" between their closest relatives. Of course, sex is not the most important thing, but passion and intimacy are the basic elements of a relationship, they are like a strong glue that connects a pair. The abundant, warm relationship between parents creates a surplus that is transferred to children. It allows you to live in a home where the toddler watches parents who love each other and who are for themselves and not just for children.
Even so, closeness between parents is often difficult. The most frequently mentioned problems are:
- fatigue - sex takes a lot of energy is a fact, but at the same time it allows you to relax, which parents often lack. However, sometimes in the face of long days with the child, parents ask themselves: is it worth it? They feel that in the evening they are unable to give anything more that forced them to do duties. Way? Plan your sex. At least by reserving enough time. Not before bedtime, not after a movie or computer screening, but immediately when the children go to sleep.
- unequal distribution of duties - when a child appears, parents often notice that how much each of them gives to the family is different. Women sometimes feel that they have a greater burden on their shoulders, even when they know that their partners are doing everything to work more to meet the growing demands of the family. If childcare, work and housekeeping are not shared fairly, bed sabotage occurs. Solution? Negotiating better conditions, using every moment to relieve the other person. Sometimes efforts and more care for your beloved are enough for the situation to change.
- we don't have time for ourselves - many people need to talk to indulge in erotic ecstasy. Others need sex to talk seriously. Everyone is different. However, it is worth talking about sex and what we need and what we can give ourselves.
- sex is boring - Many parents spend more time planning to buy presents for their children after giving birth than caring for their own sexuality. Therefore, arrange that during the next dinner you will only talk about yourself, what you like, what you expect and what puts you in a passionate mood. It takes courage. However, this is an essential feature for good sex.