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Postpartum sex, or how to reconcile motherhood and intimacy

Postpartum sex, or how to reconcile motherhood and intimacy



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For most women, the birth of a child is associated with various changes in the mental, spiritual and physical sphere. Hardly ever when women feel attractive shortly after delivery. This is not only associated with extra kilos, but also stretch marks, discoloration, erythema, varicose veins and many other ailments that do not give a woman a sense of attractiveness or confidence. However, the factor that most often constitutes a barrier against intimacy is the fear of pain, regardless of whether the birth took place naturally or by caesarean section. While a woman prepares for the birth of a child for many months, her hormonal economy changes many months and adapts a woman to a new role, men have a slightly difficult task: to understand a woman. There are plenty of guides on the market teaching future daddies how to handle a pregnant woman, not to go crazy from the fluctuations of her moods and whims, but hardly any guidebook prepares the future daddy for what follows AFTER the birth of the child.

Baby is more important than daddy

The postpartum period is over, the baby is two or three months old, sleeps sweetly for most of the night, daddy is contentedly murmuring at the thought of a moment alone with mommy and ... kissing with his back. Most men don't understand how you don't feel like having sex at all? Meanwhile, the body of a nursing woman secretes oxytocin - a hormone sometimes called "bond hormone", which calms down while breastfeeding impulse. This is not a rule, but it can explain why an extremely sexually active woman before pregnancy completely lost interest in sex after delivery. For men, this phenomenon is as exotic as it causes despair. This is understandable - the lover turned into a mother who breaks out of bed for every baby squeak, leaving daddy with no hope of sex. Relax - this state is passing.

Motherhood without guilt

For the mother, the first months of a child's life are often associated with sleepless nights, lack of time for a relaxing bath, manicure or everyday makeup. Day mode suited only to feeding times tires even the most energetic mother. Tiredness, lack of sleep and stress can effectively deprive a woman of her desire to get closer. What if a woman does not quite understand herself why this is happening? What if, because of this, there are misunderstandings between her and her partner? What if sex after pregnancy is nothing like previous experiences? And finally what about mental barriers? Often women do not like each other after delivery - they feel unattractive, they are often tired, they do not have time for themselves and are afraid of the partner's reaction. Sometimes men also have resistance to having sex with a nursing woman - it's natural. The ground is not to speed up the process and not to fight with problems that will naturally disappear. Over time, the woman's body returns to the mechanisms before delivery. A loving and affectionate partner will understand that time is his best ally, and a woman that the role of mother, especially in the first months of a child's life, is upbringing and without guilt will be able to wait for the return of a natural thrill.

When does the time for intimacy come after delivery?

Both the midwife and the gynecologist will agree: after childbirth. However, this is a much more individual matter for each woman: for one it can be a month, for another for three, and for another for up to five. From a physiological point of view, it is enough to wait for the complete healing of postpartum wounds, but it can practically happen that even after that for some time a woman will experience soreness or discomfort when approaching.

Vision lack of drive, who can accompany a woman during the entire feeding period, probably causes panic attacks in daddies, but it is worth remembering that this is a very individual matter.

It is not uncommon for women after childbirth sex becomes much more satisfying than before, which definitely translates into the quality of life of parents. Sometimes it also happens that the temperament of a woman who had rather moderate sexual needs before delivery changes rapidly in favor of frequent intercourse. All this is a matter of hormones and quality of life, in other words - young parents enjoy as much intimacy as their children allow. If a woman feels ready, it is worth organizing the day so that, among the entire time schedule devoted to the child, find at least an hour only for the partner, after all, he is also someone special. And when things don't go right now, as both sides would like, it's always good to talk instead of getting frustrated and upset or worried in silence. Honesty in a relationship is the key.